Sometimes so much happens in a week that I get overwhelmed with what to write and when; especially now work has got busy. I then remember that this isn’t a chore, it’s actually something I really enjoy and the sooner I write the easier it is. I think I’ve got four separate stories to tell but only time for the first two tonight.
Last Saturday I went to a little festival for the day called ‘Voices of Sacred Earth Festival’. I absolutely loved it. I bumped into a few people I knew there and the exciting bit was I was going to meet the illustrator of the children’s book I am writing. I’m not sure I have mentioned any of this in previous posts.
I met the illustrator on Tinder but that is not to be his name. The Beekeeper suits him much better. He is a 47 year old 6ft Maori, curly hair that falls over his eyes and incredibly quirky. He’s an eco-warrior and there was something about his profile that drew me to him.
He’s a complete hippie and plans to live off the grid soon by growing his own fruit and vegetables. He’s an artist in his spare time, a gib plasterer for work, grows his own marijuana and makes honey. He is totally connected to the land around him and such an old soul. He is the complete polar opposite to Mr Ferrari and I guess they both bring out different aspects of my personality.
I’m not sure why, but early on in our first conversation, I said to The Beekeeper that we wouldn’t work out romantically. He has no interest in travel and I know I’m a bit hippie but not sure I’m ready for that lifestyle just yet. Plus we’re in totally different stages of life. I’m still open to having a baby, he’s got a 17 year old daughter. So I told him our differences and told him I thought we could be great friends. I don’t normally look for friends on Tinder.
Well, it was the best thing I could have done. We immediately swapped facebooks and there has not been a day we started speaking where we haven’t spoken. Probably because there is no worry. I can just be myself and not concern myself about where it’s going. He is happy with friends because he says everything has to start somewhere, you can’t go from strangers to relationship straight away which is what I think far too many people do when they are online dating.
We talk about everything. He’s funny and incredibly wise and the special thing is our energy is exactly the same so I just feel at peace with him. Like he’s part of my soul family. And when I found out he always wanted to illustrate a children’s book I knew we were always meant to meet.
I parked my car up at the festival and immediately saw The Beekeeper in his car. He got out and gave me a warm hug. Maybe it was because I wasn’t judging him as a potential life partner but I just felt totally at ease. He was actually better looking in real life but I think it is his energy I’m most attracted to. Even with his twitchy left eye I just found him adorable.
We ended up having an amazing day together. He came with me to all my workshops and really enjoyed himself. Finally, a man who enjoys what I enjoy. We went to a plant healing meditation, learnt African dance and both felt awkward, listened to a talk about bridging life and death, watched a cultural performance and danced to live music all completely sober – it was a non-alcohol event. This was the man who said he didn’t like to dance yet danced all night.
In between the workshops we talked and talked and it was so easy. He also not only understood me when I told him about my spiritual journey and woo woo stuff but he could equal it.
At the end of the evening, we walked back to our cars and he gifted me a bucket of plums from his tree for the children in my class. This man may not have learnt how to read until he was almost an adult, he may not have ever left New Zealand but wow what a beautiful soul. I went home really happy to have found a new friend that night.
But… there was something else on my mind. The Skydiving Traveller! We’d been texting all week continuously (mistake number 1) and there was a fantastic vibe. The tarot card had basically told me he was the one. Well, I thought the cards had been about him. I was so excited about this date. Yes I think I’ve said this a couple of times now. But I really was.
He arrived at mine at 9:30am. Pretty early for a date but he wanted to make the most of the day with me. The sun was shining, it was a hot day, all looked good. He got out of his car and he wasn’t bad looking but it must have been his vibe or something. I just knew he wasn’t who I was looking for.
The Skydiving Traveller swore a lot. I don’t mind swearing but this was a lot. It made him seem a bit rough to be honest. He didn’t take his sunglasses off to greet me so I couldn’t gauge his eyes. He was wearing orange corduroy trousers!
I made him a cup of tea and we talked. Boy could this man talk. He talked and talked and talked and talked. I thought I was a talker. I then thought, ‘this is strange’, I was actually preferring the company of The Beekeeper than this man who I’d built such a pretty picture of.
So I listened to this man’s stories, luckily they were interesting, and asked lots of questions, because I was interested. He was more than happy to answer and this gave him lots of fuel to tell me his life story. It’s scary because it was like looking in a mirror of old me. I used to do this. Tell my life story to anybody who would listen. Monologue. Now I just write instead of chewing people’s ears off so that people have the option to read or ignore.
What concerned me about The Skydiver was his lack of drive and direction. I’m very driven and have a clear direction. I swerve off the the path and I often come to forks in the road but I know more or less where I want to go. This guy has just come back from 13 years living overseas. He’s been a policeman, a band manager and a skydiving instructor but now he’s home he doesn’t know what to do. Ughhh get yourself sorted before dating please. It really annoys me when a man is drifting and trying to date at the same time. He’s another one who’s living with his parents at the moment! Ok he’s only just arrived back in the country but it doesn’t exactly make me want to visit him.
We ended up going for a walk along the sand dunes to Bethell’s Lake. This was the same place Brian had introduced me to in my first ever post. What was annoying was The Skydiving Traveller didn’t have any shoes so he couldn’t walk along the sand as it was black and too hot. That was ok though because we ended up walking in the stream which was amazing. What was annoying was how he had to talk to every single person who walked past and even get into a conversation with some of these random strangers. This also happened when I was in the middle of an interesting story of my own.
We found a spot next to the lake and there was a funny smell. I was an enormous dead rat the size of my cat. I think this was a sign about my date.
We went for a swim, he rubbed sun block into my back but just no chemistry.
We then decided to walk back and go for lunch. He ran ahead because of the lack of footwear. In fact even when we were in the stream he was always ahead. Ok I get it, some men walk fast, but wait for your date please!
We went out for lunch at one of my favourites, Riverhead Tavern, the place where I went on the date with The Mexican. On a Sunday there is live music and you can sit in the garden or by the river and it’s so lovely. But The Skydiving Traveller still had no shoes on and when the bar manager saw this he said it was against dress code to come in with bare feet.
“I’m sorry but you can’t come in with bare feet, it’s dress code and a health and safety thing.” And rather than reply with a, “Oh ok is it alright if I just stay outside then?” He replied with,
“This is so fucking typical of New Zealand. This is what I haven’t missed.”
I was so embarrassed and asked the bar manager if we could sit outside and I come inside to order drinks and food. He agreed.
After that I felt like the bloody waitress having to come in and out to collect cutlery, plates, drinks. The Skydiving Traveller said he didn’t like authority. I could see this.
I didn’t really want to stick around at the bar long and being a Sunday I wanted to get home at a good time. We went back to mine and shared a bottle and a half of wine. He told me more interesting stories about Ancient Toad Ceremonies in South America and all the amazing people he’d met. Again I was interested but I can honestly say he knew nothing about me apart for what he could see and what I did for a job.
We did end up having a cuddle but I enjoyed the cuddle more for the fact I hadn’t had a cuddle for a while rather than it being him. We kissed on the cheek after 12 hours together and that was that.
I was pretty pissed off the next day when I didn’t hear from him. And I didn’t hear from him the next day or the next day. I know I wasn’t interested but I hate it when a man is constantly texting you, then they meet you and it all stops. I had got used to those lovely texts.
I finally did hear from him again, on the Thursday:
S: Hey Queen, I hope you had a great week. It was nice to hang. I just want to be honest and open with you. I felt a connection with you for sure but not a romantic one. I’m still more than happy to hang and chat though.
(Hooray, a man who can be honest. I knew there was something good about him)
Q: Hey lovely. I’ve had a good week but soooooo busy. Was lovely to hang out with you too and thank you so much for your honesty. Too many men, when they don’t feel a romantic connection, just ghost with no explanation so I really appreciate it. I am on the same page as you. Phew. That elusive chemistry wasn’t there howeverI felt a connection too and I would love to hang out and chat.
Reading this text back I was far too nice. I mean, yeah we got on but to be honest I’m not sure we’re even going to be friends. He lives nearly two hours away.
So that was that, however things started to get interesting elsewhere in my life. As soon as I had I given up on Mr Ferrari this happened:
F: Fancy grabbing a flick in the city this eve?
Q: Oh I’d have loved to but I’ve got a leaving party to go to tonight
(the leaving party finished at 5:30pm)
and the a full weekend of Sacred Earth Festival. Got to book me in advance Mr Ferrari. I’m a busy lady xx
And with that he booked me in for the following Thursday however that one is a story in itself.
As well as all this, my twin flame, love of my life for the last 5 years has been back in constant contact. It’s complicated, the story is long and completely strange but I’m sure I’ll get round to telling it one day especially as he is now coming to visit in three weeks! I haven’t seen him for 4 and a half years!
I was also expecting a phone call with a new guy, a drug and alcohol consultant (might be needing one myself after all these dates) but alas no, the phone call never materialised.
And as for The Beekeeper… we still talk every day. He phoned me yesterday and immediately cheered me up – I was feeling exhausted and grumpy. Then today he invited me to his next weekend to smoke organic weed, swim in caves and do a sound bath (no not that sort of bath). I’m sure it will be eventful. I lives in the same village as The Skydiving Traveller. I hope I don’t bump into him.
So stay tuned for Mr Ferrari Part 2, The Twin Flame Love Story and The Beekeeper Part 2. If only I had more time to write.
Queen of the Dates 