Wow another fairly crazy week, filled with excitement and a little drama. I’ll start with last Wednesday.
The Smoking Accountant and I were getting into a big text conversation going backwards and forwards. I can’t remember how the game came about but maybe with the accountant saying he had some more personal questions for me. Well I jumped on that and told him about a game I had called ‘Will, Want, Won’t’
The game is basically a load of questions that start off mild like: Kiss face? And then the other person has to reply: Will or will, will or want or won’t won’t, you get the idea. The first will is for giving, the second is for receiving. Well as you can imagine this conversation can get a bit heated but it’s amazing to find out whether you’re into the same things sexually. It’s also great to find out things such as whether the love interest is going to demand threesomes or orgies down the track or something that you know is not your thing at all and could cause issues later on.
Well the good news is the Smoking Accountant and I looked to be very much on the same page, with a good amount of adventure and trying new things but nothing too OTT or perverse. Phew.
The next day was my date with the next Mexican. I wasn’t really in the mood for the date. Because I had such a good long text chat the night before with the accountant. My heart just wasn’t in it and I felt exhausted so I text Mexico the 2nd and told him I was burned out and would like to postpone. He was gracious about that but then I started to feel bad. I had been talking to Mexico the 2nd for longer than I’d been speaking to the Smoking Accountant and thought that I should at least meet him for a quick drink. Plus the sun was shining, it was a beautiful warm evening and I didn’t really fancy sitting at home on my own all evening.
We went to a nice little bar I know, where you can sit on the street and he got us a sangria each. I then proceded in chatting all about Mexico and Mexicans sharing my experiences of the humour and lingo. We had a good conversation. He had been through the wars with his ex but wasn’t hung up about it. There was no chemistry or attraction on my side but it was a pleasant interaction. But then, oh no! Mexico the 2nd started talking about his home country…. Colombia. Oh no I thought. How embarrassing. That’s right. He had told me he was Colombian before. I’d fucked up in a text and said Columbia and he’d had to correct me. Well now what I’m wondering is. what must he have been thinking when I was going on and on about Mexicans?
What was interesting about this meet and greet was how interested he appeared. He was genuinely interested in me and never took his eyes off me. He even text me first thing the next morning asking how I was and then checked in again that evening. Then on Saturday I went to reply and Bumble announced to me, he was now a deleted member. How strange. Not that I was bothered or wanted to see him again but strange nonetheless after talking for nearly a month, a nice meeting, a follow up conversation. Then bang! Gone.
Anyway, after the meet and greet with the Mexican Colombian, I came home to texts from the Smoking Accountant. He was at some networking shindig. What I don’t understand is how you can be at a social but be texting all night but the accountant told me everyone was on their phones.
Then it all got strange. I got a text from a friend who is following my blog. She said she was sure she’d been on dates with a couple of these men, especially the Smoking Accountant. Now this bit I didn’t mind. Auckland is small and this isn’t the first time this has happened to me this year. Everyone seems to know everyone and when you hang out with people who are single and have a similar vibe to yourself, I guess you’re all going to attract the same men. What I did mind though is how I’d made him so easy to recognise. I was trying to keep myself and the men anonymous for obvious reasons.
So I text the accountant and asked him if he had in fact dated my friend. He couldn’t remember at first and then said yes that he’d been on one date. He asked if it bothered me. I explained it didn’t however what did bother me was how she had identified him in the blog. And this is the conversation that followed.
A: Well maybe that means I was horrifically identifying
Q: I know and I’m worried now
A: I mean you mention LEGO. That in combination with other things makes me identifiable to any other person
(Now at this moment I was thinking, ‘did I mention LEGO and how does he know what I wrote?’ It was a passing thought so I just continued)
Q: I guess
A: I don’t mind. I like you so don’t care. I’m focused on us
(Well that was a mega cute response)
Q: I only said good stuff about you at least
A: And if it comes to something then awesome. Yeah I know. You need to write up about Waiheke lol.
Q: There’s nothing in my blog that at a later date I wouldn’t let you read. I did write about Waiheke.
A: I already read it lol
Q: How?
A: Easy to find on google. All I did was google smoking accountant NZ. And it brought up queen of dates page lol.
(Me and my enormous mouth. Talking too much, too early on. I really didn’t think it would be anywhere near the top on google yet)
Q: Fuck
A: Lol hopefully you like me more than the Brazilian and Pumpkin
Q: FUCK
A: Lol what? I don’t mind. Liked reading it. Might comment some time.
Q: Can I speak to you?
At this point I was absolutely dying. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. All sorts of things were running through my head like how on earth was I now going to be able to write with complete honesty? This blog is so new and I am totally enjoying writing it. Would I now have to filter everything I said?
We had a conversation on the phone and the accountant was amazing. He told me he really didn’t mind and that he supported me with my writing, he’d be my biggest fan. He couldn’t promise not to read it because it was human nature to be curious. God I get that. If I were dating a man with a blog I’d be checking it daily. He said he wasn’t interested in the other dates, just what I’d said about him.
But it was the other dates I felt shit about. I know I’m still single so can date who I like until I’m not, but I guess it just felt a bit off having a fantastic date in Waiheke on the Sunday and then off to meet a new man on the Monday, even if it was with the Joking Ghost just to compare.
Speaking of the Joking Ghost. I decided to type that into Google to see what came up. I’m sure the Joking Ghost asked for his nickname so he could find the blog. Well the good news, although I didn’t scroll down very far, one of the first results was from the Urban Dictionary.
Joking Ghost:
The act of ejaculating on someone when they are sleeping without being caught.
Girlfriend: “I woke up covered in jizz, what the fuck!?”
Boyfriend: “Call some paranormal investigators, I’m pretty sure your room is haunted by a joking ghost”.
No wonder the joking ghost didn’t like his nickname. Oops.
So the Smoking Accountant ended up being great about the blog. And I decided that I wasn’t just going to stop writing because I’d been caught. This would be a great test. To see if I can be brutally honest about what’s going on in my life and my feelings, knowing that someone I am dating is potentially reading every word. I guess it makes it all the more interesting. He can see the real me plus if we are ever going to decide to take this to the next level, I’d want to always be honest in any case. So maybe all this happened for a reason.
I carried on going on far too much about him finding the blog, as you do when you’re cringing about something, but his response was just amazing.
A: I don’t mind honest and true writing about us. I love it. I’m honoured. And I actually like it / you. Can we continue and see how we go? X Let’s meet for another catch up.
Hooray what a relief. Not only was he supporting me and the blog but wanting to see me again after what he’d read.
Well the rest of the night was flirty texts until midnight. He tried to come round but I knew he’d been drinking and didn’t I think our first sleepover should be after he’d been drinking all evening and on a work night that late. I politely declined.
So we had our next date on Saturday. We met up in the evening for some drinks on the Viaduct. It was so lovely. More story sharing, great conversation and it was good to see another side of him. He felt so bad about trying to come round to mine late at night on the Thursday. I didn’t give a damn but he felt embarrassed and terrible. I’m not entirely sure why. Maybe he is really wanting to make a good impression. Maybe he doesn’t want me to see him as just another guy who is just trying to get into bed with me. I didn’t, but I can understand when you’re trying to be a gentleman, you might feel bad.
The highlight of my night was dancing to a live band. Now the Smoking Accountant had told me he didn’t dance so I thought that this was amazing. He was willing to dance with me all night. We had our first kiss of many that evening and it was all lovely. He passed the kissing test. Hooray. He was protective of me when drunken people were bashing into me almost knocking me over and we had so much fun. I loved the way he knew all the words to the cheesy pop songs and I just loved every second of that date. It really was so much fun!
I got home at 3am that night. Tired and satisfied and very excited about what the future may hold. We text when we got home and were both on the same page about how the night was.
But I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I detest the anxiety I have when I meet someone I like. I really don’t want to fast forward all this but the early stages, where you don’t know what’s going to happen, scare me. I know it scares him too but maybe in a different way. He says things like he doesn’t want to muck things up by moving too fast. I don’t know what I’m worried about. I know in my heart that when things don’t work out, it’s because they’re not your one and there is better round the corner, you just can’t imagine it when you’re in the middle of the fun.
All I know so far is, I’m loving every second and I just hope I can keep my head on and not get all needy and clingy as I said before. All will be how it’s meant to be.
I was meant to go on another meet and greet today and tomorrow. I contacted both men and told them it was all a bit pointless as I am going away in 2 weeks for a month. They agreed and told me to touch base when I return if still single. So I’m afraid no more meet and greets to report on unless I’m still single when I get back from the UK.
It feels strange going to the UK so soon after meeting someone I like. But I’m trying to trust the universe. I’m a strong believer in divine timing and if this guy is the right guy he’ll still be around when I get back. If not, then I know! And better to know early on than 6 months to a year down the track wasting more precious years of my life.
Oh, and Pumpkin got in touch… again.
P: Arrghhh so busy. How you been? What’s the go?
Q: Hey, yeah it’s been mega busy for me too. I’m great. Work, social, adventures. The usual.
P: Oh good stuff. I’m free some evenings next week if you’d like to do something.
Q: Yep free to do something next week. Would love to but have to say that it will prob just be as friends as I’ve been on a few dates with someone I quite like.
I decided to say this as I really didn’t want to string him along and make him think that something might happen between us. Lovely guy though and I would love to see him again however the radio silence tells me he doesn’t want to just be friends.
Queen of the Dates 