The Dream Date and the Joking Ghost

After wondering whether the Waiheke date would actually materialise, it all came together. On the Saturday after I had expressed my cold feet, the Smoking Accountant later text me to see how I was going and to put definite times in place. He had left the 30th birthday early so that the date would actually happen. I thought that was pretty sweet.

I woke up to sunshine on Sunday which was amazing because earlier on in the week the weather had looked pretty abysmal. I put on a cute summer outfit and got on the train. That was all a bit touch and go. As I pulled into the train station, there seemed to be a Sunday market going on and I didn’t know where to park. It was a frantic race against time but all worked out.

I met the accountant at the ferry terminal. He looked gorgeous wearing his designer matching t-shirt and shorts. Sounds terrible but it was actually very stylish. We got on the ferry and the first test to see if he was indeed an alcoholic was to see if he got a drink as soon as we boarded the ferry. He didn’t. We got our seats and just started to chat. Phew.

We walked into the village and found a bar with a beautiful view.

It was such a stunning day. The drinks and snacks arrived and after that he had his first cigarette of the day. He actually moved away from the table but I told him not to be silly. It was a chilling out drinking day so I said I was sure to have a few myself anyway. I think he was over the moon about that. At the bar we decided where to go and he suggested a vineyard I hadn’t been to before.

We found a taxi and off we went. The vineyard was absolutely stunning. He asked me what I wanted to drink, where I wanted to sit and went to the bar for us. In fact he went to the bar every single time. He didn’t let me pay, even when I offered and he treated me like an absolute Queen.

We had amazing conversations, we laughed lots, we were also serious and deep about our pasts and hopes for the future. We truly connected and I loved every second. Also he was becoming more attractive as the date went on, although it may have been the rose tinted wine glasses. 

We spent a good amount of time there. Not too long and not too short. Enough to want more. He told me he had a family event to go to so we agreed to get going. I asked if he had time to get some food in the city before he went and he agreed.

The ferry was so much fun. We stood on the top deck and we could see crazy weather ahead. We thought it would be fun to stay there until the weather got crazy. We made some friends and it was lovely to see how he interacted with other people. He was sociable and chatty like me. People were asking how long we’d been together, a little awkward, and we had our first physical contact when the weather got crazy and the boat was rocking side to side. He put his arm around me and it stayed there. The accountant got his phone out to take a photo of us in the craziness and we got some funny photos of us almost blowing overboard.

We laughed so much it was so easy and natural. I got absolutely soaked and looked like a drowned rat but he loved it and said, “I love how real you are.”

We went to a pub in town and he didn’t want any food because he was going to the family gathering but he said he’d have a drink with me. He then handed me his credit card and told me to get what I wanted and him a beer. I told him I wanted to get it but he wouldn’t let me.

The date was over too quickly. I could have easily gone on for a couple more hours but glad he had a family do. I would have drank too much and I already ended up feeling ropey on the Monday, as it was. When we said goodbye he kissed me on the lips and I felt that was perfect. Not too much, better than on the cheek. We had decided that we’d see each other one weekend to go kayaking to a little island called Rangitoto before I go to the UK in a few weeks. Perhaps a little adventurous but we said we’d try to do that if the weather stayed nice otherwise we’d watch a sad film. I can’t remember why we wanted to watch sad films. Random.

So the Smoking Accountant went on his way and I got on my train. His last words were, “Can you let me know you got home ok?”

I had only been on the train 15 minutes when my phone went off:

A: Hey how are you? Get on train? Thanks for lovely day?

Q: Yup all good. Got on train. Dying for a wee though. Haha 

(I was really dying for a wee)

Q: Today was amazing. Especially the contrast on the ferry. Magic. Thank you so much! Where are you now?

A: In a cab to see the fam. So do you wanna catch up again? Am I getting to the bottom of the funnel.

(I stupidly after a couple of wines told him I was trying the funnel method of dating. This is where you get to know a few men and then the one who proves himself gets to the bottom of the funnel and becomes the chosen man. Fuck I talk shit when I’ve had a few wines. One, I never even get to the second date stage so there are no men in my funnel. Two, I don’t know what two is. I just should never have said something. He now thinks I’ve got an army of men I’ve getting in touch with. I mean we really can’t count Brazilian, Pumpkin or Mexican. Brazilian didn’t contact me again. Pumpkin has given up and I never heard from Mexican after that meet and greet last week).

Q: I so want to catch up again. Def the bottom of my funnel.

A: Ok well I’m keen. So how about the kayak idea next sunny weekend?

Q: Perfect, but if it’s raining until I go away then we might need a back up plan.

A: Hopefully not raining all the time. Otherwise it’s sad movie night… haha.

(half an hour later)

Q: I just got home. Dreadful journey. Was dying for a wee so much had to get off at Henderson and then Uber home. What a nightmare lol.

(It was such a nightmare. I managed to hold it in until just three stops before my station. I won’t even tell you where I had to go for my wee)

A: Really? OMG

A: I do like you. So let’s continue the funnel

Q: Lol. I’m a nightmare. Thank fuck I was alone. I would have been so embarrassed if you were there and I had to get off the train. I like you too. I had so much fun today!

A: Can we catch up again? I hope you didn’t pee yourself. And up to you when you call no more funnels.

Q: Haha I can’t believe you asked if we could catch up again in the same sentence as did you pee yourself? No I didn’t pee myself. I’m not telling you where I had to go. Can we catch up again? Yes please. Next time you’re free as my life is calming down now.

A: Ok would love to

He then sent me all these funny pictures on the boat and continued to keep telling me how much he liked me and wanted to see me again.

So all this sounds perfect, but alas it’s all gone a bit quiet this week. He may be busy. He may be embarrassed about the barrage of texts he sent saying how much he liked me and wanted to see me again. Who knows, but he has gone quiet. On Monday he apologised about his rant and said that he’d had a few more beers with family. I told him it was fine and that it was quite funny that he kept banging on about funnels. He said, “yeap ignore me lol” and then asked me to let him know when I had spare time. I told him I was pretty free. 

Then on the Tuesday he asked me how my day was but when I replied and asked him how his was no reply. I then stupidly (in chasing anxious mode no doubt) text him to ask if we were going kayaking this Sunday. His reply was disappointing.

A: Maybe don’t hold me to it this week. Let’s save it for another week. How has your day gone?

Q: Ok. Struggling a bit today. 

(Work is full on right now)

Q: Just to let you know the following Sunday I’m not available so it may be next year lol.

(I said this because he has his daughter on Saturdays and I’m off on my holidays in a bit).

A: Why struggling?

I explained about the overwhelm of work and asked how he was. He replied that he was good just really busy. So maybe he is busy. I guess I just need to wait and see.

Now, to try and get over my psychological issues of early attachment with men I don’t know, resulting in being a highly unattractive, needy cling-on, I’ve been setting up other dates. Some with men I’ve been talking to for a while and some new ones.

I met a new one on Monday. We shall call him the Joking Ghost. He was really gorgeous (but kind of knew it). He was from the UK as well and was nice to chat to but so many terrible eye-rolling jokes. It was hard going. He’d been single for a year and together with his wife for 15 years before that. 15 years! Wowsers! Two kids- 7 and 10 and a good job. He seemed to believe he looked like Robbie Williams. I tried to let him know that if he did in fact look like Robbie I should be in love by now. He said, “well you must be”. Oh dear!

We then got talking about dating and he admitted ghosting a woman. He told me he was a terrible texter and this lovely woman text him to see if they could see each other again but he ignored her. He said he’s never done it before and didn’t think it was a good thing but he just kind of forgot. Having been ghosted myself, this didn’t go down well with me but that’s ok.

We left the bar and he told me he’d be in touch. I replied, “we’ll see”.

Would I see him again? Yep. He was a pretty picture and had good chat but his vibe was so far apart from the Smoking Accountant’s.

Well I heard from the Joking Ghost today and I think this can confirm whether I will see him again. All I can say is, “Oh dear” again.

J: Hi Queen. Did you have another hangover today?

(Umm what the fuck, I’m not an actual alcoholic)

Q: Hi Joking Ghost. Now why would I have a hangover on a Wednesday?

J: You had a hangover on a Monday!!! What’s my nickname then?

(I told him I blog but all discrete)

Q: Well that’s semi-reasonable. I went to vineyards on Sunday. 

The Joking Ghost

J: Hmmmm not sure about that one…

Q: (laughing emoji) What were you hoping you nickname would be?

J: Turbo stud… or hunkus maximus. Something like that.

Q: Oh I’m sorry. Those had already been taken I’m afraid.

J: Bugger it. Keep in touch.


And while I was writing today’s story I just heard from the Smoking Accountant.

A: Miss you a bit. Keen to hang some time soon. But don’t want to steal all your time

(Isn’t that a fucking Sam Hunt lyric “I don’t wanna steal your freedom, I just wanna take your time” Ok similar)

Q: it’s hardly all my time. We’ve met twice. Steal away. Miss you ‘a bit’ too (wink emoji)

So that’s where the Queen is at with her love life. I’m exhausted but on the whole having loads of fun. 

Tomorrow I have a meet and greet with another Mexican. Been texting him for weeks so thought we should finally meet. Who knows what I can call this one. Arriba arriba!