The Smoking Accountant

Wow what a week! No wonder it is now Saturday and all I could muster up the energy for today was lying on a sunbed on my deck.

I will start my story with The Mexican. I started speaking to The Mexican a couple of weeks ago. We were meant to meet up before but he injured his back so we postponed. 

I finally met him on Tuesday at a riverside bar near me that I really like. He won points for driving across the city, in peak hour traffic. He lost points though for not offering me a drink when I arrived. Oh well.

What I can say was he was absolutely gorgeous. 6ft 3. Dark hair, lovely physique, olive skin, swoon. We sat outside and got on well. Good conversation and a bit of laughter. He ordered us some food and another drink for us so that won back the points he’d previously lost. I know I sound terrible, but when a man invites me on a date I expect to be treated.

One thing I noticed about him though was maybe he was a bit quiet. Or maybe I didn’t ask the right questions. I feel like I left the date not really learning much about him and I don’t think it was because I was dominating the conversation. To be honest, the whole evening I felt a bit too much for him. Too loud, too jokey, just too much, however I liked him enough to go on a second date if he were to ever ask me.

I decided to text him when I got home, to say thank you for the food and drink (even though he ate most of the food while I told stories). I usually text first if I have something to thank the man for, just to show I’m grateful. I also sent him a video of my field because when I got home all the birds were going crazy and it was just beautiful. Here was his reply:

M: Looks niceee but you didn’t invite me so I don’t love you anymore. 

(yes, in my experience Mexicans have a slightly ‘different’ sense of humour)

Q: Next time

M: I’m crying because of your rejection. You just say me when and I be there 

(trust me, his English was better in person)

Q: No rejection here lol. Hehe soon!

(Umm not sure why I said that. I have no intention of inviting him over yet)

M: Haha all right! I like it today you are super hot and funny. Good night Queen blogger

Q: Haha thank you I was getting worried about my stories but you did ask. You are super hot too and a bit funny as well. Night night Mexican Landscaper.

I was relieved he thought I was funny and not crazy. However after that text, I never heard from him again. Maybe he is still waiting for his invite.

Next up was The Smoking Accountant. Now I had been really looking forward to this one. Mostly because of the great and interesting text banter. He was obviously intelligent and funny and I knew he’d be easy to talk to. But as I said in my last post I was a little put off by the smoking.

He chose a really cool bar to go to that I’d never been to before. It had an upstairs bit that was partly undercover. Filled with smokers. No wonder he liked this place. He bought me a wine and asked me where I wanted to sit. Although the outside was filled with smokers, I chose to sit there as it was such a humid evening. I said to him, “Gosh it’s going to be tough for you this evening, drinking and not smoking with all these smokers”. He said he’d manage.

First impressions were good. He dressed nicely, was gentlemanly, chatty and friendly and, always a bonus, better looking than his photos. He was my type. He was genuinely interested in me and asked so many questions. At one point I told him to slow down on the questions because it was starting to feel like an interview. He admitted he was nervous and that he just didn’t want it to be awkward and silent.

Eventually I got to ask him a few questions. He’s a father so I wanted to know about the mother of his child, I asked him about his lifestyle and his job, the travel he’d done. He was a great story-teller without stealing the limelight and quite funny too. We had a really good conversation. I steered away from the red flag which was that he lives with his parents. He’d kind of explained via text that he was saving for a house and got on well with family but I do want to press on that more next time. As much as I love my family I certainly couldn’t live with them. However, maybe if I was single parent and needed support. I’m trying not to judge. He has a good job, makes good money, has a great lifestyle, travels, so there are other good things going for him.

He refrained from smoking for most of the night. But after a few pints he asked me how I’d feel if he smoked. I reminded him of what we agreed and he said well how about when you go to the toilet so it’s not in your face and you won’t be tempted to ask for one. I agreed. It was actually quite sweet of him to ask I guess. I went to the toilets and as soon as he saw me return he stubbed it out and joined me at the table.

Only other red flag was he drinks quite a bit. This is just something for me to watch. He admits that his faults are drinking and smoking too much. He says he works huge hours and goes out a lot socially. He said that he wants to cut down and hopes that if he meets someone he’ll go out less therefore drink and smoke less. We will have to see.

Apart from that everything else was great. He was real, we talked about so many topics from dating to c-sections, from destiny to meditation, from politics to feminism. Some of them were risky subjects. We didn’t always see eye to eye, we pushed each other’s buttons but we stretched each other and respected each other’s opinions.

At the end of the date he offered to walk me to my car and once we got to pay machine, he offered to pay for my parking which was really sweet but I declined that one and thanked him for walking me. He then asked if I’d like him to text me in the morning so I could mull things over or an instantaneous text. I said instantaneous and kissed him on the cheek.

I got home and had already received a text from him.

A: Instantaneous win or fail… i.e. second date or nah? Did I blow it?

(He thought he’d fucked up by smoking and admitting he collected lego. Yes slightly geeky and childlike but I can handle lego)

Q: I had a great night. You’re good company and seem real. I also think you get me. Not many do. Second date yes please! I’d like to get to know you.

A: Awesome. You really stretched me and I like that.

We then had a full on text conversation which resulted in him asking me if I wanted to go to Waiheke island at the weekend. Next minute we were planning to stay overnight and have dinner and then vineyards and lunch on the Sunday. He said that if I liked the idea he’d find somewhere with two rooms or at least two beds. Me being me, loving the idea of an adventure, said sure.

The next day on the Friday he started getting cold feet about the staying overnight idea on Waiheke. I must admit it did seem like rather a full on second date. He said that he really wanted to get to know me and didn’t want us having too many drinks and falling into bed with each other. I said I was sure I could refrain. He said he wasn’t sure if he could. I liked his honesty and the respect he was showing me so we decided on food and drinks in Auckland on Saturday night instead and then head to Waiheke on Sunday morning.

However today, he admitted that he had forgotten about a 30th birthday he needed to pop into. He said we could still go out tonight but it would be a bit later. I declined. I didn’t really fancy going out late if we were going to Waiheke the next morning, plus I didn’t want to meet up with someone who was going to a 30th first.

So now I’m sat here questioning my red flags but I know that the only way to find out if you have something to worry about is by getting to know someone. One date isn’t enough. He’s being consistent so let’s see how tomorrow goes, if it actually happens and I don’t get a message saying too hungover. I think if that is the case I shall move on. One thing this has shown me though is the contact a guy will make when interested. He even text me from the 30th birthday to see how my evening was going, but I may have fucked up because I said I was getting cold feet about our next date. He just replied with an exclamation mark. I told him to ignore me, just overthinking everything. Agghh. It’s either my intuition screaming at me or self sabotage. Hard to tell. 

As for the Brazilian and Pumpkin. They’ve both been in touch. Pumpkin asked me out. I think it’s the third time but I always seem to be busy on the days he asks. When I said I was busy again he didn’t reply. I reckon he thinks I’m making excuses. I would see him again. He was funny but not sure on the physical attraction.

The Brazilian has checked in to see how I am but no mention of seeing each other again and the text conversation doesn’t really go anywhere.

Depending on whether Waiheke happens tomorrow I could have a big story. It’s been a while since I had an actual date and not just a meet and greet. Fingers crossed for me.