This weekend I decided to live up to my name and met three different men in 24 hours. This is impressive even for me. I’m not sure if you’d call them dates as such. I don’t call first dates ‘dates’. They are more of a meet and greet. Do we even get on? If the man decided to ask me out and see me again then that is the date. Sadly I rarely get to that point. Perhaps my blog is wrongly titled and should be named more aptly, Queen of the Meet and Greets.
So the first man I met up with this weekend was Gareth. A 35 year old father of 2. We had only spoken briefly on Bumble before he asked me if I’d like to meet up. He looked ok in his pictures, wrote nicely and the big selling point was that he was Irish. I’m a sucker for an Irish accent.
We met up in my local pub and he was already sitting there with his pint. Old me would have gone straight to the bar and ordered myself a drink but new me remembers that the man has invited you out so he can treat you to a drink.
I approached him and he looked ok, maybe a slightly older version of the man I’d seen in the photos. However as I got to the table he stood up and shook my hand. It was at this point I knew that this wasn’t the man for me. He offered to buy me a drink, well done Gareth and then we started our ‘get to know each other’ chat.
It was strained to say the least. Bordering on awkward. I was bored. His accent wasn’t even one of those beautiful Irish accents. When he talked about how awkward it is going out for a drink with someone you’ve been married to for a few years, I was thinking, ‘fuck I can only imagine what conversation with you is like after 3 years if this is what it’s like on day one’.
The highlight of the evening was him telling me about this ten day vipassana retreat he went on and how he nearly became a Buddhist Monk. I’m all for a bit of spiritual chat but couldn’t quite see myself with a ‘Buddist Monk’.
My next meet and greet was with a man called Brian. Brian is 44 and lives about 90 kilometres away from me. He had made the drive to see me and I appreciated that. I’ve been talking to Brian for a few weeks on the phone. A man who picks up the phone, what a novelty in the texting era we now live in. I was meant to meet this man a couple of weeks ago but was too hungover and excited about dating another man so made my excuses. But this time I decided to give him a chance. He had been consistent with his contact and we’d had some enjoyable chats.
Brian picked me up from mine and we went on a beautiful walk to a lake I’d never been to. The conversation flowed. He looked like his photos, he was chilled out and really chatty. We got on so well that when he dropped me off I invited him onto my deck for an afternoon beer. I could have stayed chatting to him all evening if we hadn’t both had evening plans. Thank goodness we did.
He said goodbye to me by giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He won points by not trying to shove his tongue down my throat. He told me that he’d had a lovely time and that he’d phone me soon. I replied, ‘yes please’. I hope I do hear from him again as I’d definitely like to spend more time with him again. But who knows. I’ve had many amazing first dates, well I’d think they were amazing, and then I’d never hear from the man again. Hopefully this won’t be the case.
The third man of the weekend was an interesting one. Karl, 43, two children. This one found me on ‘Findsomeone’. Yes I’m on a number of different dating platforms. It’s a numbers game apparently. I’ve been speaking to Karl for about a month. Texting and phoning. A nice friendship had been forming. Karl was going to the U2 concert with a mate. I was going to the U2 concert with a friend too so he offered to take us to the show if we could get to his and then maybe have some drinks altogether post concert.
Well it all went a bit wrong. Firstly our uber to his was late. We were meant to be at his by 6pm and at 5:50pm he phoned me and asked where I was. I explained that I was running a little late but was on my way. He wasn’t happy at all and actually seemed really annoyed with me. The concert was starting at 7pm and he was panicking about missing the first act. I thought there was plenty of time but there you go. I even offered to just take the uber all the way to the stadium. He told me it was fine and that he would still take us.
Next the uber dropped us at the wrong house. We were ages away from his. So we then had the fiasco of him trying to work out where we had been dropped off. All was fine though. We finally got in the car and did our introductions. We made plans for where to meet after the concert and went our separate ways once we arrived. Karl explained to me that he has a ‘thing about time’. Uh-oh I thought. My ex-husband was like that and it was the ‘Clash of the Titans’. I’m not the best with time!
After the concert we went back to his. Karl’s mate decided to go home so it was just me, my friend and him. All was nice at first. He’d bought us wine. Conversation was flowing. But my friend likes to probe and before I knew it, I was in the middle of what felt like World War 3. My friend Erica and Karl were battling about what spiritual ascension was about and how different people were on different rungs of the ladder we call life. He didn’t like this and he just wouldn’t let it go. I sat there head in hands, dying and cringing wanting the sofa to swallow me up.
The heated discussion was never going to end so it was time to call an uber and go home. I had received a text from him before I got home, still banging on about this discussion. I told him I wasn’t getting involved and thanked him for the wine and driving.
We have exchanged a few texts today. I think he’s a lovely guy but I’m not keen on getting involved with a man who argues with my friend on a first meeting.
Two days later.
My phone beeped and I excitedly looked down to see a text from Brian. Oh the disappointment.
“Hey Queen hope you had fun at the U2 concert! Enjoyed meeting you and our little trek. I am going to continue my search closer to home. I hope you understand. And I wish you all the best. And enjoy getting your blog going!”
Oh rejection is never an easy thing to handle. Maybe it was just the distance. Maybe I just wasn’t his cup of tea. The reason doesn’t matter. He was a lovely guy. Great that he let me know and didn’t just become a ghost like the rest of them. Just not my King.